We all know the story. Way back when the universe was on fire and all of these soon-to-be-planets were cooling down, an asteroid hit an infant Earth. The resulting mess of molten rock formed what we now lovingly call the moon. Or did they? After all, no one was there.

I’m here to propose a different theory, one They don’t want you to know about. You can hear in plenty of places how the moon landing was faked or that there’s aliens on the dark side. Maybe someone’s even told you that Armstrong and Aldrin never left, choosing to stay and start their own colony up in space. Unfortunately, none of this is true.

Instead, I want you to think back to your toddler years, when teachers would rather throw in the towel than teach an evil being such as yourself. Do you remember seeing the moon? I’m willing to bet $3.67 that you don’t. You’re more likely to remember the moon when you’re well into elementary school, and this is because of carefully taught conditioning within our educations. They tell you there is a moon, and so you see it. All of the phases are burned into your memory. Tides only change because the Earth is turning in a circle, pulling the water in a new direction.

Forget the whole “OMG, they’re projecting a picture of the moon into the sky!” That wouldn’t explain why you see it during the day – a flaw in your conditioned brain. A projection can’t be seen from anywhere in America, all at the same angle. No, the They can’t even be bothered to try and make a picture in the sky. Conditioning is the only option.

So what’s the point? Why make everyone see something that isn’t there and waste time conditioning them? I think it’s for the same reason that They keep Cthulhu locked up in the pit where Earth’s core is supposed to be – because They can. You’re telling me you wouldn’t exercise such power just for a good laugh?

In truth, it isn’t hurting us to see a moon. If anything, I think it’s the most beautiful illusion of all. Just please don’t ask me, if we’re hallucinating a rock in the sky, why it shows up in pictures.