Boo
If you were just horrified, you’ve successfully been brainwashed. October has been coined the “month of spooks” when in reality it’s just another month, though slightly cooler. While the other 11 months have plenty of opportunities for you to tinkle in your trousers, October is the month most well known for it. But I have one question for you wonderful people to ponder:
Why?
Why is the tenth month of the year the one where kids and adults alike unite to soil their britches? Why is this the season where cheap candy that’s processed to the point that it’s barely food is treated as valuable? Why is now the time for spooks and scares to run wild? Whatever the reason, one thing’s for sure- it shouldn’t be worshipped nearly as much as it is.
The hierarchy of holidays is as follows: Christmas and Easter at the top for religious, commercial, and cultural significance. Thanksgiving, Fourth of July, Valentine’s and New Year’s are second as relatively niche, but still important for celebrations and advertising. Below those are holidays like St. Patrick’s Day, President’s Day, MLK Day, and April Fool’s Day, days that nobody looks forward to, but I mean I’m glad to have the day off. You want to know where Halloween falls? The top. With the holidays that are labeled the 2 most important days for Christianity, the most popular religion.
Why?
I like dressing up and pretending to be something I’m not as much as the next guy (yes, I’m a theatre kid, so the next guy REALLY likes it), but a cheap fabric suit that costs roughly $40 is not worth it.
And what do you get when you do that? You get to go around and burglarize your neighbors. However instead of money, or anything valuable, you get candy.
Why?
I get spoiling children and fattening them up is the American Dream, and candy is cheap and easy, but like candy? It rots out toddlers’ teeth, it stinks up their pantries, and stays in those pantries for months, if not years. Endangering children by letting them roam the streets at night? Now THAT’S the American Dream!
In addition, plenty of more religious families (or other people who don’t want children at their door) choose to not participate out of concern that it worships the devil. I’m not here to argue or agree with their view, I’d get executed either way. I’m here to point out that there are neighborhoods that are just better for trick-or-treating. This can increase tensions between children and parents because children wish their parents chose a neighborhood that had people who gave full-sized candy bars. Even with all this, people still worship the holiday of puddles in your pantaloons
Why?
