The Horrors of a Bus Ride

   The bus, aka the big yellow box on wheels. For those of us who don’t have the luxury of driving or being driven to school, it’s known as the yellow limo. I’m going to be completely honest with you, riding the bus is an experience to say the least. Now I’m not saying every bus is the same, but all of mine have been pretty similar adventures. Let’s start with the fact that it’s rare to get a bus that’s on time. I’ve been lucky enough to have a bus that’s on time this year, but last year I might have well just set up camp at the bus stop. And when it was cold?! I recommend a large coat. Maybe a small campfire? You’re going to be waiting a while. And, of course, if the bus was late to your stop, then it’s late to school too. The first half of first period is a mystery at that point.

   Buses can be hit or miss depending on who’s on it. If you have a lot of people on your bus, then it’s a modern rendition of The Hunger Games to get a seat and a mental Ninja Warrior course to decide who to sit with if you can’t. Then there’s the knowledge that once you’ve found a seat you can either share it with a lone struggling soldier or stretch out in it, telling everyone it’s yours and yours only. Then there’s the smell. Somebody always smells like they ran 18 miles before getting on the bus, all you can do is hope they don’t sit next to you. There’s also always that one person who has their music up way too much, so everyone is forced to listen to whatever Garage Band beat of a song that they’re playing.

   The mornings can be okay since everybody’s too tired to act crazy. But when the afternoon ride comes, prepare yourself. There’s always a group of rowdy guys sitting in the back who just whoop and holler for absolutely no reason. They’ll just scream for no reason at all! Maybe your bus actually has civilized human beings, but mine? They have water fights in the back of the bus. What’s even worse is when there is a sub, then nobody is getting home. Say goodbye to your house because you’ve already passed your neighborhood 10 minutes ago thanks to the guys in the back who think it’s hilarious to give false directions. Where are you going? No one knows. You’ve been going in circles for years. Your hair is graying, and the guys have grown long shaggy beards. But wait, you’re saved! A brave girl steps up and knows the route by heart. You’re finally going home. That is if you survived the ride.

   If you’ve ridden a bus, then you’ve probably banged your head on the window before. As you were trying to have your moment in the window of the bus to a sad song, a pothole comes out of nowhere and BAM! Concussion. Brain damage. I’m convinced the only comfortable way to sit in a bus seat, is if you’re sitting incorrectly. Your knees up on the other seat while you are slouched low in yours, or sideways with your back to the window, or laying down completely, or even backwards- the list goes on. Be warned, the streets will be bumpy, the bus will not be able to take it, and you will go flying. A bus ride is basically just being thrown around for 20-30 minutes. Oh, and heads up, that seat you’re about to sit in? The seat part isn’t connected to the frame that holds it to the bus, happy falling!